Fear is something that I grapple with on a day-to-day basis. Some days are better than others. Some days, my fear is limited, barely there, and in good spirits I think “I can do this!!”
But there are some days where I think… “I can’t do this.” No way can I do this. I know it’s all in my head but fear has a way of doing that to us, shutting down our senses, distorting the line between reality and illusion. For the anxious, our flight-or-fight response is constantly on the go – without any given stimulant or cause. It’s just THERE.
The fear I feel is a lot like in this picture. Like a thousand sharp knives all around me; one wrong move and everything unravels; I get hurt. There’s no real point where it begins or ends. Everything is connected and yet somehow disjointed. And it swallows me, surrounds me in darkness, engulfs me whole. Some days I feel like I’ll never get out of it. Like I have no control.
So what do I do? I draw. I draw furiously onto a blank page with rock music blaring in my ears, whatever gets my fear pumping (somehow, energising myself rather than trying to calm myself down when I know I can’t be calmed, helps). I get this fear out onto the page, whatever I feel I draw. And suddenly it doesn’t seem so bad.
Our minds tend to create bigger problems from almost everything we encounter. So draw it out. See it for what it is. Is it really something to get yourself so worked up over?