Yes, I have anxiety.
Yes, I have depressive thoughts.
Yes, I have self-esteem issues.
Yes, I am an insomniac.
Yes, some days I feel like my struggle is pointless.
Yes, some days I feel like I shouldn’t be here.
But you have to understand:
I am still me.
I am still a person, exactly the same as every other human being, and yet different.
I may be battling something deep inside, but I can still function just like everyone else.
I can still be, and am, happy with my life, though I have my days.
I go through hell and pain but I am still loving my life.
Just because you’re going through a difficult time, or suffering mentally, does NOT mean you are any less of a person than anyone else… it does not mean you are not living like you should be… it does not mean you are not still you… you are not limited in any way, apart from what you make of it in your head. You are who you are meant to be in this moment and that’s freakin amazing 💖
This day last week was a really shit day. I had no reason to feel so crap, it was grand final day, I had a great day the day before, and my family were surrounding me. And yet I woke up late with an awful feeling in my chest. I didn’t wanna get up. I didn’t want to do anything. I missed out on riding horses, something that I absolutely love doing, which just made matters worse, and so I just laid there.
My anxiety took hold of me that day and would not let go. I was exhausted from being exhausted, and this was my body’s emergency shutdown, telling me I was over working myself.
I guess the point of what I’m trying to say is don’t let yourself get to that breaking point. Get to know your mind’s and body’s little hints that you need a break.
But you will reach your breaking point somedays. We all do it. Life does that do us; for a lot of us, it’s just one thing after another. So when you do, listen to your body. Allow yourself time to take a chill, let yourself relax, even if you absolutely despise yourself doing it.
I hated myself for resting up that day, I always feel like I’m being “counter-productive” when I’m not DOING something. But I made myself do it, and it will make me stronger in the long run, as it will for you ☺️💜✌🏼 And, most importantly of all: surround yourself with good people. My day would have been twenty times worse than what it was without letting in my loved ones 💓
For a long time, I’ve let others define me. I’ve let myself define me too. And I still do. I still scream at myself for posting photos of myself, scared I don’t “fit” in our standards. Scared to show a little skin. Scared to be my true self. Scared that I’m not ALLOWED to feel like this because “oh, I’m so skinny and smart and pretty, why would I feel bad?” Well, you know what? I do. Every fibre in me screams that I am attention seeking. I am still wrapped up in the social conformities we’ve created in our own heads. But that’s just it! It’s all made up. There ARE no social conformities, no ideals of body shape, size, gender, sexuality, intelligence, talent, strength, beauty. It’s ALL. IN. OUR. HEADS. You’re you, and that’s enough!! So BE completely in love with yourself; there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s ok to flaunt what you have and feel totally awesome about it. Don’t be afraid to take up space. Don’t let yourself feel any less than a goddess/god. And when you do, that’s ok… but know there are no real expectations for you to “fit”.
And don’t you dare turn it down for anyone 🤪🌪🤟🏼🔥
Fear is something that I grapple with on a day-to-day basis. Some days are better than others. Some days, my fear is limited, barely there, and in good spirits I think “I can do this!!”
But there are some days where I think… “I can’t do this.” No way can I do this. I know it’s all in my head but fear has a way of doing that to us, shutting down our senses, distorting the line between reality and illusion. For the anxious, our flight-or-fight response is constantly on the go – without any given stimulant or cause. It’s just THERE.
The fear I feel is a lot like in this picture. Like a thousand sharp knives all around me; one wrong move and everything unravels; I get hurt. There’s no real point where it begins or ends. Everything is connected and yet somehow disjointed. And it swallows me, surrounds me in darkness, engulfs me whole. Some days I feel like I’ll never get out of it. Like I have no control.
So what do I do? I draw. I draw furiously onto a blank page with rock music blaring in my ears, whatever gets my fear pumping (somehow, energising myself rather than trying to calm myself down when I know I can’t be calmed, helps). I get this fear out onto the page, whatever I feel I draw. And suddenly it doesn’t seem so bad.
Our minds tend to create bigger problems from almost everything we encounter. So draw it out. See it for what it is. Is it really something to get yourself so worked up over?
Suicide is not a topic to be taken lightly. It is not a word to be thrown around, and should never be attached to a certain “image”. This can be a reality check for some people – as in, we need to stop the jokes.
We all respond to life in different ways. The fact that we have stigmatised the appearance and representation of mental health distorts this view. Anyone can have suicidal thoughts, no matter your background, your circumstances, your status. Suicidal thoughts are not selective. They do not pick and choose. And no, they do not always have to mean the person experiencing them genuinely wants to die – they can be unwanted, pervasive thoughts and it is so incredibly important we address them without judgement.
I think we often get so wrapped up within our own lives, that we tend to forget what RUOK day really involves. So I invite you this week to reflect on your own knowledge of this issue, work to remove any negative stigma that could be attached to your perception, and treat everyone you come across with compassion and consideration. Take a moment to think about the young, the old, and the entire families affected by this worldwide issue.
I am a survivor.
I am a fighter.
I am proud of each and every person who gets out of bed on their worst days, and I am proud of those who don’t… but choose to remain on this beautiful planet, even just for one more day.
And I lived to see another day 💙
Remember, you are worth it. Help is always available and ready. Never be afraid to reach out for it, for it is the most powerful thing you can do; there is no shame in demonstrating such strength.
You are never alone.
13 11 14 (Lifeline Australia)
1-800-273-8255 (US National Suicide Prevention Hotline)
HUMAN EMOTIONS ARE ALLOWED ☀️🔥🌪🌈☔️ –
Because guess what?
We are ALL entitled to feel.
The next time you feel mad, like you could break something, let yourself scream into your pillow. Or at the top of a hill. Or vent to a friend. Or go for a run. Release some steam in a healthy way. Because this is healthy. Compressing it and packaging it into neat little squares of hatred is not.
The next time you feel like crying, let yourself cry. Allow yourself the comfort from someone who cares. If you’re feeling depressed, don’t make yourself feel guilty by telling yourself you “can’t” feel this way, because “you don’t deserve to feel sad”. Because “there’s always someone worse off”. Because “your problems are insignificant”. Well, they’re NOT!
Just because an emotion is seen as negative, or even undesirable, doesn’t mean it’s negative to feel it. It’s actually incredibly important.
You deserve to feel 🙂☀️
And you deserve to express how you feel ❤️
My name is Breanna. I am a 17 year old student from Western Australia and have been diagonised with generalised anxiety. I suffer from insomnia, depressive episodes and moments of panic.
I am not in any serious danger. But I am a sufferer, like so many of us. And I am not afraid to speak up about it. Like so many of us are.
So I’m going to speak up about it, for the ones who can’t, or won’t. Mental health has been shunned to the sidelines for too long.
And I am here to offer up my experiences, to share my struggles, and to give my words to help, for anyone who wants to read it.
Friends, this is a space to talk about mental health openly without limitations. Like the world should be.
So here we are.
I thank you for reading, and for showing interest in my journey.
We are sufferers together. We are strong and united.
You are amazing. You can do this. And you are never alone. ✌🏼💞